nope, it’s not the new version of beauty and the beast (though the plan is that it helps the beast turn into the beauty) – it’s the latest craze in easy weight loss.
Whilst I’ve always been relatively skeptical of gimmicks to lose weight easily (if it were that easy, surely we’d all be doing it), I’ve also been eager to try them. You gotta be innit to winnit right? And let’s face it, years of working out and dieting (you name the diet, I’ve done it) have made me relatively happy with my body, but there’s always something to improve. In my case it’s the tummy. My stomach most be the most persistently flabby area of a body known to humanity. Therefore, when I read about the hypoxi and vacunaut systems, I was all over it. I decided to check out HypoxiZone, since it was the most proximate to my work and I thought my boss might like to let me go there at lunchtimes …
sounds weird. what is it?
They’re types of machine. Basically, depending on which particular area of your body you want to whittle away, you can choose to do twelve sessions of hypoxi (bums and thighs) or twelve sessions of the vacunaut (waists and tummies) and the idea is that over the 12 sessions (13 if you do a taster too), then the fat around the problem area breaks up and disappears – for good.
hypoxi
If you chose hypoxi (which seems to be the most popular, judging by the number of people I’ve seen doing each) you change into your normal gym kit and get strapped into a sort of skirt-type thing. That skirt then attaches to a machine which looks exactly like half an egg, and you get all sealed in. After that, you pedal away gently for 30 minutes while the machine works its magic on your bum and thighs.
I’m quite happy with my bum and thighs (I subscribe to the Sir Mix-A-Lot school of thought when it comes to bums) so I didn’t feel the need to try this, but the people doing it look very chilled out during the process, reading magazines and in one case falling asleep. Looks kinda fun. I could use some extra sleep.
vacunaut
The vacunaut works on your tummy, so it was right up my street. From the outside, it looks exactly like you put on a wetsuit, get plugged into a petrol pump, and walk on a treadmill. From the inside, it feels exactly like you put on a wetsuit, you plugged into a petrol pump, and walk on a treadmill. However, the wetsuit is unbelievably tight (you can barely move your arms or legs) and it does feel very restrictive at first. Once you get used to it though, it loosens up and you look – and feel – a bit less as though you’ve been put in a body cast. 
You’re meant to go at a speed which keeps your heartrate in the fat-burning zone – so no breathlessness, and definitely no hard-core jogging. For me, I was meant to keep it at around 145 bpm, but that’s basically impossible for me unless I run because walking just can’t get it up high enough (I want to believe that’s ’cause I’m fit, but I suspect some other factor is at play). I did manage to keep it over 120 by making the incline on its highest level and pumping up the speed to – oooh – 6.5kph. Speedy. Apparently that’ll be okay – if I’d run, my muscles would’ve been using sugar instead of fat for energy and it wouldn’t've been as effective. Okey-dokey then – taking it easy it is. I can do that. I’m even really good at taking it easy – I got practice.
The petrol pump tubes also do weird things. They give off electrical pulses which feel as though giant unseen hands are massaging your tummy from top to bottom in rolls. It’s actually quite nice although really peculiar to start with! But massages are good. People pay for them and this machine gives you one for free and burns your fat. What’s not to like?
The half-hour passed pretty quickly and I signed up for a course after today’s taster. Naturally I don’t think I’ve lost any fat from it at all, but it was only one go – bring on the other 12! I’ll report back on my progress as I get on – I haven’t had my first day measurements yet but when I do I’ll post them and then compare them to my results at the end. Simples!
xxx
so how was it? update please
Sorry Ambi I almost never get on here! To answer your question – it didn’t really work out for me, because you can’t work out for six hours afterwards which of course meant that my exercise time was significantly reduced by doing Hypoxi! But I saw others who had great results while I was there. If you’re in London then I’d recommend Hypoxi Fulham rather than HypoxiZone in Bank, because Hypoxi Fulham is a much more professional studio and is endorsed by the Hypoxi peeps, whereas I found out later than HypoxiZone isn’t.
Hi there, Im going for a trial session of Hypoxi today, but still not sure, I also work out daily, but thought I could do it before my Hypoxi. Not sure really why you should not work out afterwards though.
Hi Lee, good luck! I hope the Hypoxi goes really well for you – are you doing Hypoxi or the Vacunaut? I think the reason you can’t work out afterwards is that Hypoxi/Vacunaut concentrates on one specific area of your body, but if you exercise during the six hours afterwards the effect is spread throughout your body so the effect on the area you’re working on is less intense. I think it would totally work for people with a less mad schedule than me, but the problem for me was that I had to do Hypoxi in the mornings because it was near my house, so that cut out a morning exercise session. Then not being able to work out for six hours afterwards also cut out my lunchtime exercise session … and work and social commitments mean that I can’t go to the gym at night, so the timing was just really off for me. But sounds like you’ll be fine!